Many times in life I have been told that I "am too sensitive, care too much, it is not your problem so why are you stressing about it." And its true to an extent, I care deeply about others. I care when I shouldn't. I have a hard time just cutting people out of my life even if I know that i should. I get hurt because I give people chances when others think that I should just write them off.
I had a conversation with a friend, who always seems to get me thinking about some of the tougher things that maybe others won't bring up. She told me that maybe sometimes I get mixed up in who I should care for and who I have empathy for. My empathy seems to go out to everyone, but she told me that when you care, your heart gets involved and that I needed to be careful with my heart. Her words lingered on with me. They made me think when I stressed about another friend getting a DUI, when a friend got arrested the day before Thanksgiving, and is going to trial after Christmas, when a friend was sick and I wanted to take care of them, when my friend was moving and I wanted to help.
Then afterwards I got sick....my body can't deal with it all, and neither can my heart. I think I worry for other people, more than I worry for myself. I would risk not eating at times just to make sure my friend was okay. I don't think there is anything wrong with this, but what I realized I always tried to help, even when they didn't always want it. i try to see the good in people, even when others say they are with out hope. I know I can not change people, but I guess I keep doing it hoping and praying that in a small way those things will make a difference someday.
And yes maybe I need to learn not to care so deeply about people, when my heart is at risk, but how does someone shut it off? I guess you are never to old for lessons in the complexities of life.