Okay I have been guilty of it too, but who are we kidding attraction matters.
Attraction for me starts the first time they may show interest. They took the reigns and winked at me. ( I am going to use online dating terms and scenarios) So I check out their profile, and of course their pictures. Okay so far so good, so I wink back.
First attraction, they made a small attempt at making the first move, that is hot to me.
Then if they want to take it to the next level and actually email me. Next attraction for me is if they sound smart, and have something more interesting to say to me then, wow your pretty.
Second attraction, are the educated or at least seem like they have some kind of education. And also still being a man by starting that communication.
And then they proceed by giving my their number or asking for mine, and then seeing how long it actually takes for them to call or if they even call you.
Then for me a big part is the sound of their voice. I mean if I have to listen to them I might as well like the way they sound.
And then of course on the first date how they treat you.
Now I have been opposed to kissing on the first date in the past, but I really think that some of the things are case by case, and I am not against it anymore especially since I am guilty of it as well.
So there needs to be a continuous flow of attraction. You can't just have it all in one area. And the attraction will hopefully be there when you meet as well. I mean you can't have a complete relationship with a guy that you can only talk to on the phone because that is the only place you have chemistry. Just like you can't have a relationship with a guy that you would only make out with just so that he would stop talking and you wouldn't have to hear his voice.
Attraction is important, so I guess we all should just actually own up to it.
* I am sure this will piss some people off, and I do know as well as the next that it can't solely be based off of appearance and what not. So this is my disclaimer. The views posted here are just for fun .Please do not hold Serena responsible for any offense you might have felt.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Playing the Field
I have been dating multiple guys online. Some people have viewed it as bad, but I have been having fun with it. But the question I seem to ask myself is, "Are male or female better at this?"
I thought I was doing well with this. I was being polite, and even letting guys now right away if they tried to communicate with that I wasn't interested in them by sending the polite response, and also letting them know if after one date I was not interested. But then I started to go out with more interesting guys, guys that maybe I would want to go out with more than once. Now it seems to be harder to play the field. Of course some guys make it easy to continue to play the field because they are too scared of making a move that even after 5 dates they still seem weird about you even going in for a hug. Or tell you that they need to see you more than once every 2 weeks. Or text you a long message on New years Eve about how they like you. So With that I have been able to "keep playing the field". But then, wow you meet some guys who actually are interesting, not afraid of physical contact, and wow seem interested in you for more than just what they see. So I stopped playing the field. But then he talks to you and tells you that he is seeing other girls.
Okay so it is MUCH better when guys are staight up with you from the start. And I was honset with him as well because I honsetly was not seeing any other guys as I was seeing him, but now I am like well I can't be the one that feels more so I got to keep playing the field. Which makes me wonder if I am not very good at it. And then it makes me wonder, well I told him that i wasn't seeing any one else so now if I start,how do I bring it up because i don't want to look like I was lying to him.
I mean in relationships you always risk something. And when asked if I was looking for a serious relationship, I would say no I mean not right off the bat. So why should it bother me if they are doing something that I just wish I was better at? Maybe because I wasn't designed that way. I want someone to choose me, yet with online dating the ocean is full of fish. And you get back to the fact that the ones that do choose you, you don't want. And the ones that you want either don't choose just you or just don't choose you.
So is playing the field the way to go? I don't know, I mean even with trying to not put all your eggs in one basket you do risk getting hurt because that just happens when ever you start to let some one in your life. The things I do know is that I had been having fun, I have some great stories to tell based off of all my dating in the past couple of months, and I have also been treated like a lady and also have great stories to tell of a different kind through that. But maybe I can't handle it when I actually start to like someone. I mean isn't that when most people decide they don't want to play the field any more?
I thought I was doing well with this. I was being polite, and even letting guys now right away if they tried to communicate with that I wasn't interested in them by sending the polite response, and also letting them know if after one date I was not interested. But then I started to go out with more interesting guys, guys that maybe I would want to go out with more than once. Now it seems to be harder to play the field. Of course some guys make it easy to continue to play the field because they are too scared of making a move that even after 5 dates they still seem weird about you even going in for a hug. Or tell you that they need to see you more than once every 2 weeks. Or text you a long message on New years Eve about how they like you. So With that I have been able to "keep playing the field". But then, wow you meet some guys who actually are interesting, not afraid of physical contact, and wow seem interested in you for more than just what they see. So I stopped playing the field. But then he talks to you and tells you that he is seeing other girls.
Okay so it is MUCH better when guys are staight up with you from the start. And I was honset with him as well because I honsetly was not seeing any other guys as I was seeing him, but now I am like well I can't be the one that feels more so I got to keep playing the field. Which makes me wonder if I am not very good at it. And then it makes me wonder, well I told him that i wasn't seeing any one else so now if I start,how do I bring it up because i don't want to look like I was lying to him.
I mean in relationships you always risk something. And when asked if I was looking for a serious relationship, I would say no I mean not right off the bat. So why should it bother me if they are doing something that I just wish I was better at? Maybe because I wasn't designed that way. I want someone to choose me, yet with online dating the ocean is full of fish. And you get back to the fact that the ones that do choose you, you don't want. And the ones that you want either don't choose just you or just don't choose you.
So is playing the field the way to go? I don't know, I mean even with trying to not put all your eggs in one basket you do risk getting hurt because that just happens when ever you start to let some one in your life. The things I do know is that I had been having fun, I have some great stories to tell based off of all my dating in the past couple of months, and I have also been treated like a lady and also have great stories to tell of a different kind through that. But maybe I can't handle it when I actually start to like someone. I mean isn't that when most people decide they don't want to play the field any more?
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