Goodbyes

I hate saying goodbye. I have been recently thinking about that a lot. I saw a card that said there was no good in goodbyes. And I have a friend that says "goodbye forever" when ever he is telling someone goodbye.

I know that I am not the only one that doesn't like it. And everyone handles it differently. But the truth of the matter is you never know when that good bye will be " Goodbye forever". Life is short. And no matter what, through all the loved ones that I have lost, friends that I have had to say goodbye to and watched them leave, or friends that I said goodbye to because I left, I ask myself this question: Is it better to guard against love, friendship, and joy because you know that eventually you will have to say goodbye? Or is it worth the pain in the end to have all these good memories, know that you gave your all in it and hoping that these goodbyes will not be those "Goodbye forevers", but if they are that you are a better person because of it?

I met a friend who I found out was leaving to Germany. Knowing how sometimes I can distance myself with people that I care about when I find out they are leaving a friend asked me " Well isn't it better to hurt now, rather than to invest in this person and to care for this person and it just hurt more later in the end?" Well yes that would have normally been my response, but as I get older I learn that I don't want to miss out on something simply because of fear. And my response to her kind of shocked me. I told her through tears that isn't it better to give it my all and have a good time and possibly get hurt rather than always be careful because people have the potential of hurting you?

It seems this summer I have had to get good at goodbyes, but I don't believe that these are goodbye forevers. So many friends had to move and it has been sad watching them go and trusting that our friendships can withstand the distance. So today is another bitter sweet day as i say goodbye to another friend. And I pray that this is not a goodbye forever.

Influence

I have been thinking about who my influences are and who I influence. I believe I know so many people that have influenced my life, but when I think about it, how do I know if I have influenced anyone elses life? Is it easier to see how other people have been influenced by people rather than what kind of impact you may have made yourself?
There are things that I try to do, to make this place and world better, but is it enough to influence anyone? I don't know.