I have good days and bad days. I get used to the pit in my stomach especially when I sleep at night. I started answering unidentified calls just in case its you and I can hear your voice. I get jealous of the girls who talk about talking and emailing because it used to be that case before you went over there.

I take offense at anyone who is not behind our military, and try and make them see that the people fighting this war have loved ones back at home that worry themselves to sleep. I think to myself how dare they not stand behind the people who make it possible for them to live like they want, and tell them to be behind those who are fighting even if you are not believers in the war. And wish they would show you guys respect for the sacrifices you make for us.

I no longer care when people say bad things about how hard its gonna be while you are gone, or how you will change when you get back...because they don't know what we have baby...and I will wait for you til the end. A guy like you is hard to find...and I know because I had been searching for awhile till I met you.

Its hard to smile when I feel like crying, and one day feels like 20 its going by so slow. I fill my time the best I know how, but I just can't make time fly.

I meet other people on facebook who know what its like to love a marine, but I get jealous when they hear from theirs, even though I know that its because they are not where you are, and doing what you are doing.

I have lost my appetite for 3 days now and I can't pretend that I don't know why. I send messages to your email, facebook and even snail mail just so that when ever you get a chance you know that I care an think about you and long to hear from you.

I have become more patriotic then I ever really thought I would be simply because I am proud of you handsome, and I know that you are more than just my hero....but when you get home I will be the one that gets to kiss you.

I keep counting down in my head as if it may change how soon you will come back, and I look at a world clock just to know what time it is where you are so that in some way I feel like we are not so far.

I wonder about what you are doing at this moment, what you are missing, and how often I come to your mind. I wonder if you sleep at night.

I think about all our time before you left and I wait to have more when you get back......but some days are good and some days are bad...today was just a really bad day.

Have a heart

I like being a lone...its called being an introvert. When I have spent lots of time being around other people I like to retreat and just be by myself. Thoughts are constantly in my head because of this too. People in the past have said I over think things. But I think some people just don't think enough.
I am a sensitive person, which is why some people say I shouldn't do the things in life that I want to do including trying to get into the coast guard. But I think that is exactly why I should be doing what I want to do in life. We are okay with people being desensitized, but the ones who have emotions...those are the ones people think there is something wrong with. Well what if the ones who showed their emotions were the ones who were normal? I wear my heart on my sleeve, and have been hurt, cut down, told I was too sensitive because I couldn't seem to hide my emotions. Sure it has left me vulnerable, and it has burned me before. But that in my head is no reason to stop being who I am. Those people have tried to stifle me yet they did not win, they could not break me.
I have had horrible stories in my life and I know that I am not the only one who has tragedy in their lives. But it doesn't matter because I am a stronger person because of it......some think my emotions make me weak, but I think they show that I am human and capable of love. In this world where there seems to be so many who lack love or have a clear understanding, I know what love is.

Love is a girlfriend who even though there is distance between her and her man remains faithful,
Love is a man who puts his life at risk for his country and the loved ones back at home understanding that it is his duty.
Love is a country coming together because of tragedy even if the tragedy did not happen to their own country.
Love is showing respect even when you do not feel like it at times.
Love is never forgetting to say kind words, when sometimes its easier to say the mean ones.
Love is being there for a friend even though you feel like crying yourself.
Love is doing those things you don't enjoy because you know your significant other does enjoy it.
Love is trusting that man with your heart, even though many have tried to tear it apart before.
Love is not fearing the future and enjoying the time right here, right now, and trusting that God will let there be more moments together.
Love is putting others before you.

Yes I have a heart, and am not ashamed of that. People who claim to feel nothing have built up a wall and I think its time to break down the walls.